Don’t know if i’ll ever SHOOT again! Or if so,
when I might be allowed,
how much it will cost,
where it might happen, etc,
because MASTER has both keys! And I think He has great instincts, so i’m going to try to see how far I can go.
The few hours I just spent “on my knees” was so exciting, relaxing, enjoyable, rewarding! It was GREAT to be like that for hours, no pressure to be anything other than a footstool. Sure, my mind raced with ideas, but I was very comfortable to just be what was needed, and not seek all kinds of attention. So, maybe next step is to regularly be denied orgasm by MASTER, rather than to be allowed, but only in ways that draw me closer to Master and dependent on Him for orgasm (like only allowed to shoot if HIS FOOT is on my face or whatever.)
So, what if i’m locked-up, denied orgasm, and forced to give Pleasure, Service and my total OBEDIENCE – as my ONLY way of feeling SEXUAL Pleasure -- AT ALL times – not just the 95% I DO THAT WAY NOW…
I suspect that at first, I will be constantly in search of ways to Please, Serve, and Obey for the pleasure it brings me. More than usual because it’s now in place of my orgasms, not just what leads to them. That kind of Training can be irreversible (I suspect some of what I experimented with is already irreversible.)
Eventually, most times I wouldn’t even remember the lock after awhile. And occasionally, I might even forget my place as a slave and the Pleasure that comes from Serving. But by then, Master can always bring out the slave in me, and send me to my knees begging, if He chooses to. Just by staring into my eyes to get my attention, then a quick point to His FEET, or to HIS Shoes will remind me of
the sweet humiliation, and the
That would have me half hard, horny and dripping IN A SPLIT SECOND. I would be EAGER for any of it. 100% submissive slave, whenever and wherever MASTER CHOOSES to put me in that state.
Truthfully, I get way more pleasure just thinking about SERVING Him hour after hour, then I do those 5 seconds. And during the 5 seconds, i’m still fantasizing about Serving anyway. So why not forget about the fantasy, enjoy hours on my knees, AND always be ready to provide more hours of SERVICE and OBEDIENCE (Actually, without release, it’s probably more like a constant craving for more use, more abuse, and more humiliation.)
The bottoms of my feet are black from walking home in socks. I could easily get a release from thinking how I didn’t take bus or taxi because I wanted to Obey. So much material! But, maybe I should just wash my feet, and try to sleep now that it’s 7:15 am. i’ll try not to cheat, then wake up, probably fully craving all the things I craved tonight? I might be fully dependent on kneeling to Please, Serve, and Obey as my only hope for happiness today! Well, let’s see how it goes.